What are three of your faults that you would like to change? Are you working on them now?

Well, I have all those things also , much of t depends on my lifestyle to display them though...I'm working on trying not to die at the moment. Somedays I do well, other days, I wonder at times. In between, I work ar trying to save my hair, putting up with people that don't understand, esp. this hearing loss, and wonder how I can afford what's coming up next others want me to pay for, without an "job". In fact my hsuband looked at me and said..."Don't spend an dime thsi year"....and all I could say was, but I have to buy groceries and what not..I'm down to the basic's and have been for years now. It elaves you with needing perfectionism, because nothing Break, wear out, or need replacing....it adds to impatience, and anxiety also...and lack of self-esteem, when others "pass you by" on thier merry way...and comteriveness for money to survive on also. One time we had an inspection at work, and the maintence man came in an I asked him to take an bolt from one place and put in in another place, as it was an cosmentic type of bolt, he looked at me and he said, Ah Ha, Robbing Peter, to pay Paul!...I looked at him said, Will you tell Peter to pay more.. and Paul to stop taking it from us... as fast as we get something.. please. He didn't say an thing, just did what I asked. My husband is running me into bankruptcy doing the family finances I guess you know. How long we can maintain depends ion part on my health also. I ahnded over to him nealry $15,000 cash thinking we could majke month to month, no..he refused to keep it as an savings account and he's refused to have an savings account, even for monthly expensies, he's an "no budget" and with no budget, anything goes, including the arguements, his only way "out" he thinks is me goign to work..I can't hear, I can't funtion very well soem days, and I haven't the slighestes who'd want an 61 year old in today's society...as I'm closer to retirement" ,not "working" like I use towork.

I get todl one thing always....You always think yoru "right"....then he stomps off and we get an little deeper in debt. His advice to "not feed the grand-kids" I find absurb. His leaving the television on all night long while he sleeps doesn't help the elcetric bill and nothign will help it, because if they don't make thier revenue "quota" they'll raise rates anyway...which is another reason this country is "tanking". People don't realize how our wealth was made "for free" in the past. that means, we had no property taxes, if we did an couldn't pay them, we moved out west to "free"...same for food...we "caught it"..no licsence required,  smae for utlities...we chopped "free" wood, fetched water from the local creek or river, wee-weed on the ground..or in an outhouse, required no utlity fee. Now we  have all these people losing their "Pay check"...so how do we pay for these things now?  Not everyone could be the chief "banker" in town...nor the Mayor either.  Thsi si why I thought "Bush" was so dumb in his thinking, well all we have to do is go to the stock market...as if any one HAS any extra money to invest these days. Let's see, Obama gave us $45 an month pay hike, th eelectrical service raised our electric bill $100. He gave the senior citzens and bail out check of $325 instead...they also see raised rates for them, as well as most of them are struggling just to beable to "travel" to sevices they need for medical care. They raised bus service fee's also. that is why people are freaking out an dshooting people up in the masses these day...they are indeed at "wit's end" for the need of help. but I'm trying to wrok on all this....don't ask me howto achieve anything on it though, because I of myself don't make the problems entirely. If I were to soley be at blame, I would of never handed my hubby over $15,000 many years ago. Our government makes its own problems in the way they conduct their "fee raising" to begin with...the busines with their hiking up prices and  our utlilty companies by making us dependent upon them. They are now slowly getting around to charges at times for not even using the serives at all...which is sure to bring chaos..... so where is it that our taxes go to when we pay them?

I love my gray hair, and I love being 50. It really does have it's benefits, even if the body thinks it can break down a bit.

OK, back to the thread. I have a million faults, but will keep it to just three.

Boisterous

Blunt

Opinionated

And no, I can't say I'm doing to much to overcome them.

I think I have to add a recurring theme of feelings of worthlessness here, especially in view of some things that have been going on in my life lately.  I think most of my friends would say that I tend to be very optimistic about life in general, so this isn't a case of "pity poor me" and driving others crazy with a litany of my woes, rather, it seems to be a general undercurrent that is always there (and always has been) and I am becoming acutely aware of how much I don't like feeling this way.

I'd like to get to the bottom of these feelings and put them to rest. No matter what circumstances I may be dealing with there is always something to be grateful for.

One has to wonder, why do these miserable feelings persist even when you try to counter them with positive thoughts?

Good golly Diana...you and I are so on the same page, it's scary!!

I have the very same feeling. Always the chin up, the sunny outlook but the "undercurrent" that never seems to go away. I know what makes me feel this way and it's having to face it that makes the undercurrent flow more.

You know where to find me Diana. Always and not matter what time of day.

I am intrigued by your comment, Krissy. Email winging it's way to you!

 Somedays life is like hitting your head against an wall and getting no where...for every step forward, there's two back..I think someone made an song about that. I'll tell you how to depress an "gemini" real fast..make her stay home and act like she's in an nursing home...either as an patient or working there, with never an day off...always the same thing day after day, after day, after day, after day after day, after day...what can I say? ... It just isn't our style. Consitiency of any one thing isn't our style most the time. Let's see,,on to Mother's Day  now that Easter if over with..or just "Spring" in gneral...maybe both.