Jokes

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Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 02:08 on 29th July 2008 A!' Edited by: Wolf at:2nd November 2008 02:01 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 02:11 on 29th July 2008 Here's a few for the ladies. A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." -------------------------------------- "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. -------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor -------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! -------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ---------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 02:15 on 29th July 2008 A few Irish thoughts There are many good reasons for drinking, One has just entered my head. If a man doesn't drink when he's living, How the hell can he drink when he's dead? Here's to you as good as you are and here's to me as bad as I am As good as you are and as bad as I am, I'm as good as you are As bad as I am. Here's to our wives and our girlfriends, May they never meet! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 02:18 on 29th July 2008 And Edited by: Wolf at:2nd November 2008 02:00 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 05:41 on 29th July 2008 H Edited by: Wolf at:2nd November 2008 01:58 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 06:02 on 30th July 2008 Wolf, n****y. I hope you're not making fun of my Denzil. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE The following ad appeared in a newspaper. SBF Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a svelte good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck. Hunting Camping Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. * * * (The phone number was the Humane Society and Daisy was a one year old black labrador retriever.) My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Wolf Posts: 3423 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: Australia	quotePosted at 06:13 on 30th July 2008 Yeah, I called the number Ruth........ lol:) My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Andy Edwards Posts: 1900 Joined: 14th Mar 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 12:48 on 30th July 2008 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Andy Edwards Posts: 1900 Joined: 14th Mar 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 12:49 on 30th July 2008 Wolf, my alter ego says thanks mate! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Diana Sinclair Posts: 10119 Joined: 3rd Apr 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 13:23 on 30th July 2008 On 30th July 2008 06:13, Wolf wrote: Yeah, I called the number Ruth........ lol:) LOL @ Wolf! Andy, I love the great truths! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions