A Gentleman's Opinion Please (Ladies May Share Too!)

This question is for the gentlemen in our group, although, the women are most welcome to share their thoughts as well.

I know several ladies of various ages who are recently back in the dating game (divorced, widowed etc).  While meeting for coffee last weekend the subject of first dates came up.  When invited out for a first date should the man pay for the date or should they each pay their way separately?

I suppose the younger crowd has this all figured out, but for people (or at least women) of a certain age who haven't dated in a long time the answer is not so obvious. 

I agree with you Lyn.  It seems unfair to ask the man to pay, especially since you don't really know each other.  And god forbid it be a "blind date" and he looks like Pee Wee Heman!  If he paid you'd feel obligated to spend the entire evening with him. LOL!   At least if you both pay your own way and it doesn't work out no one feels taken advantage of.

I asked my husband and he said that if he had asked the lady out then he would expect to pay, and I would tend to agree. This may not work with the younger generation, but with our generattion this is how it was done and I think this is how they still expect it to be done.

I'm trying to guess your age, Diana, definitely younger than myself and some others on the board, but still in the age group where the gentleman paying for the date was just good manners.

I wouldn't expect him to pay, and even less I would take it for granted, but I can appreciate style , that fortunately  still goes beyond conventions and equality issues :).

<<as there is nothing more embarassing than dealing with a money issue at the check out.

So true, avoiding that is what really matters lol !

Well ladies it's time for me to fess up...I am a not so spring chicken myself at 45; but personally I find that it depends on the couple involved.  Most of the friends I spoke of agree that it's an uncomfortable situation at best; especially given the fact that many of them are dating again for the first time in many years.

For myself I feel more comfortable telling a man right up front that I think the first date should be dutch. It has nothing to do with women's rights for me.  Frankly, I can relax more and really enjoy getting to know him rather than feeling obligated to stay on a date I am not enjoying because he's paying. 

If however, after the first evening we both decide that we'd like to see each other again, and then if the gentleman wants to fall back to a more traditional approach I am fine with it.

Funny, how things are these days.  I am all for equal rights for women in-so-far as we are equal as human beings, and should be treated with equal dignity, etc.  However, (and I may make a few enemies with this statement, though that is not my intention) I think there are basic differences between the sexes that are lovely and should be honored by each.  I am not a man nor do I want to be, and I want my man to be all man, and by that I mean in his demeanor and his treatment of women in general, and me in particular.

Today's politically correct climate has robbed us of some of the wonderful mysteries that God intended for us to spend a life time exploring in each other.  I think that's a shame.

Well that's my 2 cents worth.  I'll keep quite now and let the guys speak.  Where are they? LOL!

LOL @ Lyn.
I think we finally scared Ron and Peter LOL