Favorite Quotes

I like this one:-

Phone answering machine ' ...If you want to buy marijuana, press the 'hash' key......

or

'If you think nobody cares whether your'e alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments'

or

'If at first you don't succeed..skydiving is not for you' 

or

'Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.' 

LOL @ Ray!

I couldn't decide which of these was funnier! LOL!

Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 1899
Mark Twain

We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot--& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
- Letter to W. D. Howells, 4/2/1899
Mark Twain

LOL Diana,

Mark Twain sure knew people didn't he?  

Here are a couple more Zen Teachings for you.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just p*** off and leave me alone! 

or

'Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fishand he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day'. 

and

If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.'

I've seen a look in dog's eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

John Steinbeck.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King jr.