Seen on an insurance claim form

“I drove into a drive I thought was mine and hit a tree I knew wasn’t there”

Also told to a judge in court after hitting a car while leaving his house” In all the time I have lived at this address I have never known traffic to pass my driveway” When asked how long he had lived at the address by the judge his reply was “I moved in last Tuesday”  

I was practicing for driving in England and had a slight head-on collision.  But it was at a slow speed, so not too much damage. 

Ive only ever had one accident. I was going round a roundabout in very damp weather, when a woman drove out in front of me. I hit her side on. I wasnt going fast, but because the road was slick i skidded. When I asked her why she pulled out in front of me, didnt she see me, she said, "I thought I could beat you". As if that wasnt bad enough, I told her to hang on as my bumper was hooked under her wheel arch, I wanted to try and unhook it. She drove round the corner taking half my bumper with her. Initialy there was very little damage, but by the time she had ripped half the front of my car off, there was tons of damage.

When the insurance investigator came to esses the damage to my car, he was more interested in how clean the inside was. What has that got to do with my crumpled and damaged car? I got full marks for interior cleanliness though. Lol

I swear that tree wasn't there before.

Told by my aunt to a police officer when she hit a tree while learning to drive.

(Hiya Mick, Wolf, Ruth and Peter!!!)