silly jokes

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	Forums > Off-Topic_Chat > silly jokes
Richard Sellers Posts: 4691 Joined: 16th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 16:34 on 10th March 2009 LOL !! and hi Michael ! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
lancashirelove Posts: 1986 Joined: 18th Feb 2009 Location: UK	quotePosted at 16:54 on 10th March 2009 hi richard, just browsing My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
lancashirelove Posts: 1986 Joined: 18th Feb 2009 Location: UK	quotePosted at 19:30 on 4th June 2009 Blonde went to Pizza hut. "can I have a large pizza please?" she said. Sure madam, and how would you want it cut, 6 pieces or 12? "oh! 6 will do, I dont think I could eat 12." My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Shirley K. Lawson Posts: 2310 Joined: 17th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 19:37 on 4th June 2009 why did the mermaid go to the beauty shop?.... (so she could get an "tidal wave") My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Gives Up! ' Posts: 1934 Joined: 30th Apr 2005 Location: UK	quotePosted at 22:27 on 4th June 2009 A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.' See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse. Doh!! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Gives Up! ' Posts: 1934 Joined: 30th Apr 2005 Location: UK	quotePosted at 22:35 on 4th June 2009 • Tech Support: "What version of the Mac OS are you using?" Customer: "Word 6.0." • Tech Support: "What browser are you using, Netscape or Microsoft?" Customer: "Netscape." Tech Support: "Could you read to me what it says at the top of the window?" Customer: "'Global Travel Conference - Microsoft Internet Explorer'." • Tech Support: "Are you installing on a Mac?" Customer: "No, I'm using a 3.5" thingee on a disk." • Tech Support: "This has Windows 98 on it -- did it have Windows 98 or 95 on it when it was sent out for repair?" Customer: "I think it had Office 97." • Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?" • Customer: "I keep getting an error message whenever I try using the MSDOS mode in Windows 95." Tech Support: "Can you describe what happens?" Customer: "Well, I keep getting a black screen with an error message saying, 'C:\WINDOWS>'." • Tech Support: "which drive is your CD ROM?" Customer: "the top one." • Customer: "Do I hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?" • Tech Support: "Your password will be...a small 'a' as in apple, a capital 'V' as in Victor, the number '7' " Customer: "Is that a capital '7'?" • Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard." My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Debbie Adams Posts: 2043 Joined: 8th Mar 2009 Location: USA	quotePosted at 03:42 on 5th June 2009 A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please." This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away. A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'." UUUMMMM you thought it was gonna be bad didnt ya,,;-)LOL Edited by: DEBBIE ADAMS at:5th June 2009 03:43 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Gives Up! ' Posts: 1934 Joined: 30th Apr 2005 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:55 on 5th June 2009 LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Edited by: Babs ' at:5th June 2009 08:55 My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
lancashirelove Posts: 1986 Joined: 18th Feb 2009 Location: UK	quotePosted at 09:14 on 5th June 2009 man walks into bar, written on a chalk board was, 'Todays special £5.oo !!' Whats the special? asks the man. The barman replied, 2 a pint beer, a pie and 5 minutes with the barmaid." mmm! siad the man in deep thought, " who's pies are they?" My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Shirley K. Lawson Posts: 2310 Joined: 17th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 17:51 on 5th June 2009 Beans, beans,, musical brutes,.... makes your rear end go "toodly-toot!" My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions