Who are you?

Hi Diana. I read with interest your thread "Who are you" I have a strong sense of self, and so i have never thought about how people see me. i will say that flaws are there in each of us, but it is the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives so very interesting and rewarding. My own journey has taught me that there is no expected pace for inner learning. What we need to learn comes when we need it, no matter how old or young, no matter how many times we have to start over, no matter how many times we have to learn the same lesson.

We fall down as many times as we need to, to learn how to fall and get up. We fall in love many times as we need to, to learn how to hold and be held. We misunderstand the many voices of truth as many times as we need to, to truly hear the choir of diversity that surrounds us. We suffer our pain as often as is necessary for us to learn how to break and how to heal. No one really likes this, of course, but we deal with our dislikes in the same way, again and again until we learn what we need tp know about the humility of acceptance. You should be

happy that you have been able to just see yourself through your own eyes, with acceptance, it has taken some of us ever so long to get there. 

I have read with interest all of your comments and I have to say that everyone seems to have a well balanced opinion of themselves.  It is a struggle to overcome the negative messages that we have received over the years. Getting older gives us a perspective that only distance from the original statements can give.

As I get older it's becoming ever more clear that self acceptance (a willingness to change and improve as we are able goes without saying) is the only option. There is always room for improvement but life should be a joyful process of self discovery and letting go of what we don't want to define us and embracing what we do want; not an end goal that we are trying to reach before we give ourselves permission to be happy.

The knife cuts both ways. As we become more self-accepting, we hopefully become less critical of others. We realize that part of the problem in our relationships is not actually because there is anything wrong with us or them, but simply that we are different from each other, and that's not a bad thing. Sometimes it's simply a matter of letting the other be who they are and celebrating their uniqueness as well as our own. 

Who am I ?

Where am I ?

What time is it ?

Hi Toby! Your post brought a big LOL for me. I have asked myself those three questions many a day.

I wish you much  joy and laughter.

Wow, I think I see a little of each of you in me.  LOL.  I would guess that, statistically speaking, we are all stuggling with a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. 

What others say I am:  Even as a youngster, I never really knew or cared.  I've always chosen my own preferences, regardless of what the style, custom, political thinking, etc. was.  So I guess maybe some people consider me a bit weird, but they're entitiled to their opinions and whatever their opinions may be, I can't let it bother me.

What I've heard others say about me is mostly good.  I don't know if they are being kind or if I intimidate them in some way, so they say the bad stuff behind my back?  Who knows?  People have told me that I have natural leadership abilities, but that I don't let it show.  I don't feel that I do, but maybe that's because underneath a confident exterior, I'm more insecure than I let on or want to be.

Now, with all that being said, I think wisdom of years causes me to do this self-examination exercise fairly often, Diana.  The Catholics call it "examination of conscience."   Most of you know that my prayer life is very important to me, so I'm always asking God to help me out.  Work in progress, like you said, Krissy.

Do I not care what others say because I know I shouldn't, or am I being aloof and uncaring about them as people?  Or am I in denial for some reason?  Or do I think I'm superior in some way?  Hopefully, the motivation is correct.

Do I stifle natural leadership abilities because I'm lazy or scared?  Do I deny having them out of false humility, and therefore not use any talents I'm gifted with to their fullest measure?  Need help with this one, too, God. 

Do I really not know what others say because I retreat into my shell?  Not let anyone get that close?  I have lots of friends, but not a lot of close ones.  Am I closing myself off from others?  I've had a few pretty heavy losses in my life, so I have to make sure that I don't close myself off out of fear of being hurt again. 

Lately, I think I've been a lot more impatient and judgmental, especially about things going on in the news.  Another thing I need to work on.  And I blame a lot of my issues on lack of time, but everybody has that problem nowadays.  It's a good excuse for not getting involved. 

Now, all that being said, I think I'm a pretty good human being, coworker, wife, mother, and friend.  I like myself. (most of the time lol) And hopefully, I will continue to become a better person by doing this now and again (thanks, Diana!) but not let dwelling on "me" take over my life.

OK, here goes (gulp) - POST.

Lol. I knew you would have something insightful to add, Ruth. I can always count on you to jump into the fray. I love philosophical conversations and it just a shame that I have such a hard time finding people in my immediate sphere who will accommodate me. Thank you POE friends for indulging me!

Ruth, being Catholic, I too am very familiar with the "examination of conscience". I think most people, including a majority of Catholics, think of this examination as only a preparatory exercise for the sacrament of "Reconciliation". Consequently it is only often associated with tallying up what your "sins" are rather than a positive experience in self examination for the purpose of self reflection and improving oneself.