Fines for drivers who smoke in their car...

Hi Jason, both yourself and Stephanie are right on the button, but have you seen the parents of some of these teens?  I just shrug my shoulders in despair and disbelief when they appear more socially inept and lacking in education than their children. It seems to be a vicious circle at times.

Should it be the aim of schools not only to educate,  but to groom our children from an early age into fine and decent young men and women?  Perhaps we should forget the current curriculum and concentrate more on social skills, manners and etiquette, household and money management etc. It is one thing to teach children about history, maths etc. but when do we actually prepare them for the outside world and life to come?

Toby, that will never happen with today's code, kids learn very eaily that some people can cheat and be liars and get away with it, they can discriminate over many and still get places, the Catholic church is just one such group we have all watched...you can't tell kids to accept ethic codes and not "live" them yourself. Neither can you live them and knowing pass on the worse of life to others..and not have them see through it eventually...as you call yourself an "saint". Just now, I went to Hood River for fruit. I called ahead to be told it was 59 cents an pound...I go tthere, it was 79 cents upward. I was Royally angry, and I asked "God" what to you do in this case?... under my breath. Because I need the best price I can get, I have an husband whose company closed down for two weeks..without pay, I can't go running ot the Govt for two weeks like most others can and do constantly.  But the bills have to still be paid. I can remember when people grew thier own fruit, and I can remember when people may of went without many things, but food was never one of them...because those that "Had it" shared with those that didn't...the good things, no tthe crap of life. That is what the combine killings were all about in Colorado years back, some kids that didn't fit in as "preppies" as they are called..the "elite" class of students attending an local school. They were shunned and they took to the school with guns.Teh message...We all have the same kind of blood running through our veins....rather you think we do or not. If you want to get the kids to straighten up, make thier wine toting, smoke crazed, viagra laden parents straingthen up and show them an decent example. After that its their local outside influences..both acedemically and socially.

Of the 148 kids I've had in my house over the years..here's an sampling of some of them...

1. Parents never home, kid is left with 20 foot completely stocked  bar and all the booze he wants without supervision. He was the last I saw him considered by most of us an teenage alcoholic.

2. Kid whose mother remarried...and he thinks he's got to make life "for her" so she can pay for herself and his younger siblings...without the help of the stepfather totally. He got caught stealing.

3. Kid whose parents left town on an business trip, he locked himself out of his own house, couldn't break in due to house alarm, he managed with other kids to get to my house after not eating most the day, he savored the veggie tray like it was the best life had to offer before I was told what was going on and made him eat an meal. He was to afraid...to call his parents.

4. Then there was the kid whose step-father reminded him daily he wasn't his father...not to expect much.

5. The colored kid, whom I didn't even know was in our trailer over night out back, he tells me he is an Foster kid whose foster parents are so much better off that he feels they live in such an unrealist workd, he'd rather not go back to them. He thinks they need to see how the world really lives for the most part. He felt un-welcomed. Hir real father was an drunk, I asked him about declaring "emancipation" through the state so he could have adult rights and make his own way with an job and schooling...he'd still be supervised by the state.

6. Several kids whom had parents simply couldn' t take care of them for lack of money, and they went and lived from friend to friend most the time...again, they were basically "homeless" human beings. The kids know these kids, and you'd be surprisedd what they share with them...an lot more then most adults.

7. We had an incident where I picked up an nieghobor kid from an school for kids that were suspended from regualr school, he was walking home, it's about an 10 mile walk to that school and it was mid-winter and colder then all get out, he was turning purple...next day I saw an "gang" message in front of my house..he wasn't suppose to cross it from then on (go down my street)...I hope he left the area, and until then I never knew we had  any gangs around these parts...we live outside of town.

 8. The kid whom wen tto an house party who got into th ekids parents drawer an dfound his california stash of marijuana, which is illegal up here, and smoked it. He was asked to replace it,before the other kids parents got back or get the hell beat out of him by an couple older bigger kids. Last I heard his parents made resitution for him..then they sold thier house and left the area.

(By the way, average house in my area is high middle income -lower professional people)

9. Then we come to the girl whose father demanded his kids to be perfect, so he whipped them with an leather belt constantly. Even as teenagers. Seh managed to get herself pregnant, and left their home, she was killed in an automobile accident when they think some car part went out on thier old junker car. Her parents moved to an larger house further away.But I sat with her one time crying as she told me how hard she honestly tried to be perfect so her parents loved her.

10. I sat with some hispanics while they told me how their parents had intensive tempers and thought nothing of taking an gun and threatening them with it every time they got angry. Most they said were on dope of some kind for pleasure.They saw no chance in life, for the most part. One kid did OK I guess, though divorced by age 20, th eother did an jail term for helping illegals across the US border. He's out now tryin to remake his life. His biggest problem in this whole ordeal was he was an American bornic, not an illegal one.

Well anyway, that's enoghof an sample for now. Of the kids I've had around here, I would say over half of them had better houses and financial postions in life then my  husband and I. Mostall these parents own new automobiles and expected the kids to go to college. Some ended up being  sent off to military schools so their father could bring in his newest grilfrend also. In one case the mother divorced and in the second case the mother shot herself in the head, she had never had an job and was to embarrased to tell her parents things didnt' work out....she didnt' know  how to support herself and her kids. So because she refused to divorce him he brought in his new girfriend and her kids over the weekend, and moved he rout to the sofa, she put the kids on the school bus Mondayand committed sucide.Most all these people if any were in the neighborhood left it thereafter thier difficulty. I can only think of about two of us still original owners of our houses.

I too agree with Toby. The problem, as Toby also pointed out, is that parents can't teach what they don't know. Children today have such bad manners because their parents do.

Furthermore, children tend to mimic what they see more than what they are told. They must be taught by word and example.

This affects not only manners but also how a child learns to deal with life in general.  I use myself as an example. I have fought against negative thinking all my life because it was inculcated in me as a youngster. My mother was always whining about what was wrong with her life and how her husband was to blame for her misery. Rather than taking responsibility for her own happiness she blamed everyone and anyone else for her choices. She couldn't understand that her decision to do nothing was a choice.

Parents have no idea (or worse, some just don't care) how much their behavior affects their children.  When a child grows up seeing a parent abdicate power the child too learns to see him/her self as a powerless victim at the mercy of what others around them are doing. 

During teenage years when a young person is striving to find their identity they need strong, positive role models. Unfortunately, that is not the kind of parents many of them have.

Is it any wonder so many children and young adolescents are depressed and even suicidal? By their parents example they have learned that life is nothing but an endless, unhappy struggle, they can envision no hope for themselves beyond what they have grown up seeing.

Fine the lot of them, and no I didn't somke in my car.

I'm glad I don't smoke anymore, it's been 8 months now