One liners...

What often has eight or ten wheels and flies?

Answer: A garbage truck!

Okay, it was a quick one to get you going. Lol

Ok...........What kind of an shot do you give an car?

(Fuel injection)

What kind of policemen enjoy thier work best?

(Traffic policemen..because they whistle while they work)

What do would you call an car for mice?

(An mouseratti)

 What do you get if you cross an sports car with an egg?

(Breakfast-to-go)

Now for the really stupid one....What's black, wrinkled and makes pit stops?......A racing prune...... Enough...I say..enough! At least for now.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

For our Maria:  C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

The Good Lord helps those, that help themselves BUT

Lord help those caught helping themselves!

If Yoko Ono (Beatles John Lennon's widow)..would have married Sonny Bono, she would of been Yoko Ono Bono.

If Tuesday Weld had married Hal March III, she would of been Tuesday March 3.

If Ivana Trump married in sucession...actor Orson Bean, King Oscar of Norway, Louis B. Mayer (of MGM fame), and Norbert Weiner (mathamatician), she would be...Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirely Euwell Rotten Hale.

Finally.....if Sondra Locke married Elliot Ness, then divorced him and married Herman Munster, she's become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

Oh, Shirley, ROFLMAO!!

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”

gess who