Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

That's why I said the next day, Miya.

My marriage is actually fine, but I simply just can't resist Denzil.  You know, how it's predicted in the vows.  Somebody'll come along and just turn your head and you're hooked just like on drugs.  But Miya, if I'm not mistaken, I seem to remember that you noticed the powerful effect Denzil has on women. 

lordy yes child! i's may be old but i's still alive an kickin'. heck, i aint seen such a fine speciman of manhood since ernest t bass left tha andy griffith show.

ROTFLMAO here in Wheatley, Oxford!

Keep it coming Miya...

Yep, Denzil's got all the charm of Ernest T, but with that lovely English polish on top.  My kind of man, fer shur.

gud mornin chilren. how ya'll be taday? auntie got ta go an git one of scooters brats outta a tree wut he climbed yestrday an never got out. lord tha boy gonna be tha death of me. thought tha danged fool of a son of mine (tha be scooter) wulda done got tha boy out but no. he leavin it for ole aunt miya ta do. i's told em it aint seemly fer a woman my age ta be a moonin folks with this big ole hole in my bloomers. i's keep it tha way fer the air conditioned effect. i gos now an be back as soon as i cin. i's hopes nobody be lookin up tha tree win i crawls up thar.

Miya, maybe ask Bobo for some new bloomers for Valentine's Day.  You know, the ones for special occasions. 

Did you get the brat out of the tree yet Miya?

And if you let me know what size bloomers you need, I'll see if I can find you a pair. Will it matter if they are a bit discoloured?

yup. i gots tha brat outta tha tree alrite. i shook it hard as i could an he fell out, screamin' like a gurl. but he landed on tha ole cow whut he like so much. so he  be happy. ron i's git my bloomers from tha lost n found heres in possum holler. tha only has a few skid marks.