Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

Hi Y’all!

How y’all doing?  My name’s Miya Buttreaks.  I don’t know none of y’all but my great niece, Diana, told me that all y’all was lookin’ for somebody to help y’all with your romantic woes. So dry your eyes little’uns ‘cause Aunt Miya’s here to get you through the door of the love shack!

Well now, I reckon I should tell y’all a little about myself so y’all will feel right telling aunt Miya about your love woes.

I was born in the south eastern portion of these here United States in a little ole place called Possum Holler up in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Georgia.  My great, great, great grandma was a match-maker back in her day, and so it has been with all female kin in my family ever since.  Well, except Diana with her high-falutin’ ways up there in the big city.  I had her a nice fella once and she turned ‘em down cold for no good reason. He was a right nice man and rich too.  He owned a mess of hogs, two cows, some sheep (they all walked a little funny), and he even took a bath when it was time to go a courtin’.

My husband, Beauregard Buttreaks (Bobo for short), and me have been married for more years than I can remember.  The picture I’ve used for my avatar is a picture of us on our weddin’ day. I guess y’all can tell I had a bun in the oven back then!  Wasn’t Bobo handsome girls?  Lord, he could make my heart flutter!  And that’s what I want for each one of y’all; someone to make your heart go pitty-patter! (That little bun turned out to be our first boy and we named him Cooter.)

Well enough yappin' about me, I am sure if y’all have any questions you won’t be shy about askin’.

So, now it’s your turn; write to aunt Miya and tell her what weighs on your hearts.

xoxoxo y’all!

Aunt Miya

Hello Aunt Miya,

I wanted to be the first to welcome you to the site and to say thank you for volunteering to be our relationship advisor.  

I just need to correct you on one thing lest my friends here at POE misunderstand the circumstances and think me an ungrateful twit.

First of all, I was only twelve years old when you selected my “beau”; and though I know you disagree, I was far too young to be married. Second, he was forty-five, was missing his two front teeth, constantly scratched and complained about the critters “down there”,  called his mother “sister”,  and thought passing gas over an open flame was funny. I think my POE friends will understand that I wasn’t overly impressed with him.

Having cleared that up; I would like to say that I hope all enjoy your column here and find the help they desire.

I can't see your avatar Aunt Miya.

Hello, Aunt Miya!  Welcome to POE, lovely neck of the woods you come from.  Love your wedding gown.

I was hoping there would be column for the lovelorn on POE.  They have everything else - now it's complete.  Thank you for joining us and offering your services.

Here's my problem, Aunt Miya.  I'm in love with a fella but there are an ocean, most of a continent and 2 spouses between us.  Whatever shall I do?

Dear Aunt Miyra

Please can you help. My parents are still mad at me for not marrying my cousin. I'm sure you see allot of this sort of thing where you are.

Are you married to your cousin by any chance?

Hi Aunt Miya--you don't mind me calling you aunt do you? and welcome to he forum. I'm surprised to read that Diana had passed up such an obvious golden opportunity in favour of taking her chances with some of those northern city slicker types, and all their fancy things.  You sound a real Georgi peach to me and guess you've been around the block a few times, helping people that might find themselves stuck on the first base of love and might want to score a few home runs from time to time.

Well, my question would be where to start---like meeting someone in the first place with similar interest etc? Might a canoeing vacation down those Georgia rivers be a good place to start to meet people along the way, and would playing a banjo be advantagous too?  I don't think we could handle many more foggy mountain breakdowns, though.

Thank ya kindly for your welcome Ruth, that’s a right nice bible name you got there, and a cute little dawg too, ‘though here we’d probably throw him in the pot and have him for supper.

Honey, you ain’t got no problem!  Shoot, when my Bobo and me was young we had a pig,  a chiken, two hound dawgs, and little Cooter in the bed between us!   Where theres a will theres a way I always say.

Ain’t you ever heard o’ that song “If Ya Cain’t be with the one ya luv, luv the one yur with”? 

Spouses?  Is that like grouses?  Oh,  ner’ya mind.  Diana just tol me it means husbands an wifes.  I don’t see ya problem.

Good luck to ya sweetheart and let me know how your gettin’ along ya hear?