Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

Ruth, I see yur problem honey.  It's hard to resist such a fine speciman of manhood!

Paul, Bobo and me had a local band play at our weddin'.  They was made up of four good ole boys named Cletus, Billy Bob, Bubba, and Snake.  Cletus played his arm pit hairs, Billy Bob whistled through his nose, Bubba belched in tune, and Snake passed gas LOUDLY.

A shag mean something totally different when I was a teenager, and I certainly didn't have one of those    .

Ruth, in England the women's version of a mullet is called a feather cut, at least in my day, and if you've seen Austin Powers, then I'm sure you know what an English shag is (other than tobacco).

Sue, what's a mullet, you callin' my Bobo names? 

Denzil, long black hair? You swing that way boy?  Gonna break some hearts ifin ya do.

Ruth, me n****y? Did I spell that right?  That Mrs T sounds like a right cow if you ask me.  What with a fine man like that 'round an all, she still scoots it out to the hay with this Paul fella?

Crumbs Denzil?  We wasn't eatin' in the bed. There's a lot of things we do in there but we don't eat.