Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

So, you were thinking of something else ????

Miya---I was watching a sort of documentary on TV about some Bandit guy bootleggin' Coor's beer over the state line.  Did big Enos and Little Enos come to your reception with some of that boot legged beer, sort of, to impress the ladies like ?

Paul, lordy me naw!  My daddy and my brothers woulda filled their behinds with buckshot for comin' round!  Everybody who's anybody knows that bootleggin is a local business. Why my own kin is involved but really ole man Jenkins and his two boys Jim-Bob and Clitus Beaver are the kings of booze.  They use an old toliet bowl and some old sewer pipes they stold on a trip to Atlanta to make corn whisky.  The first time they tried it they purt near blowed us all up.  Something 'bout the residual methane in the pipes.

Well yall, Buckwheat's (Cooter's other boy) got his tongue stuck in the whisk I was mixin' a cake with and Skeeter's got his head up that cows teet again, and my Bobo is hollerin' at one of my sister's kids something like "Settle down, you is acting like a fart in a frying pan! I guess I'd better call in a night and go put out the fires.

Y'all be good and keep those questions comin' cause I'll be back tomorra.

xoxoxo
Aunt Miya

Welcome Aunt Miya.

There are days when I want to trade in my husband for a new model.  How do I go about doing that?

Before I sign off for good ta night I just saw Peter and Lyn's postings an I didn't want 'em to think I was snooty or somethin' so I will sign off with these words to the two of ya:

Peter, quick git yourself to Boston cause Diana is in need...Ruth likes that good lookin' hunk Denzil so you don't have a chance with her anyways!

Lyn, you sweet thing you!  You is as cute as the spots on a lady bug!  Don't you be jealous now, Aunt Miya can find you a good man.

I have a picture or two that you can choose from.  Does anybody know how I can git those pictures to show up here?

Bye now!
xoxoxo
Aunt Miya

Hi Y'all!

Win I sayed I had to go an put out some fires last nite I wosnt joshin' yu.  I'd no sooner logged off this dang cumputr than I hurd my uncle Arnold screechin' like a scalded cat.  I runned outside to see what the commotion was and thar was uncle Arny a runnin' outta the outhouse with his overalls down round his feet an off to the side a laughin' was Jim Bob (my other sister's brat) with a hand full of them thar fire sticks (you know them things with what you can make fire with).  He done sit fire to the outhouse with uncle Arny in it.  Uncle Arny's ok 'cept for catchin' his privates on the fence when he tried to jump o'er the top. He wasnt to happy 'bout that an neither was his wife aunt Dolly.

Karen, honey that ain't no problem, alls ya gotta do is cook em up a special recipie I got from my grandma win she wanted to git rid of my second granpa.  She fed him this plate of stuff and he was gone before he done swallered the first bite.  I'll send ya the recipie but ya have ta read it an 'member it an then burn the paper when yur done.

Good mornin' to yu Denzil.  I ain't still in bed.  I wakes the rooster up.  You say to got a burnin' sensation for a woman with a dawg she named after yu,  I think I knows who that is an honey an I gotta tell ya, it ain't no good sign when a woman name her dawg after yu. Naw, I ain't nver bin to Norfolk but I bin to Stinkin' Varment Junction just a hop, skip and a holler aways from Possum Holler.  The folk in Stinkin' Varement Junction named thar town that 'cause of the stinkin' critters that spray all over town. One even got my Cooter in the eye when he was a little un an got down on his knees to see ifin it was a boy or a girl critter.