Need for reform in the way medical personnel deal with patients

I know that we have touched on this subject before but I am really steaming!

A girlfriend of mine went in for outpatient surgery the week before I did and her pathology report came back with a diagnosis of cancer.  Fortunately, they believe they have caught it in the very early stages and expect that she can make a full recovery.

Here's the thing: She entered the hospital for the beginning of a three week stay this past Monday.  During this time they plan to treat the cancer very aggressively.  Amazingly, as of yesterday when I went to visit her, she looked great and best of all she has had no sickness.  Before I arrived for my visit a nurse had gone into her room and asked how she was feeling and my friend responded that she felt strong and good. The nurse laughed and said, "Well, you won't be for long. Pretty soon you'll be as sick as a dog."  Obviously, my friend was discouraged and more than a little afraid after this. 

I ask you, why is it that anyone, but especially a nurse or a doctor, would say something like that to someone who's morale is already compromised? They are professionals for god's sake. Do they not know that to keep the patient as optimistic as possible can only aid in the healing process?

I think there needs to be a reform in the way medical personnel deal with patients.  They need to get their act together and remember that they are treating human beings not sacks of dirt.  What ever happened to treating the whole person, body, mind, and spirit?  Has medical science so dissected the human person that they (the medical profession) no longer see human beings but illnesses?

I see what you mean Diana, but then would it have been better for them to lie?? and when she really does start to feel bad, because its true, she will!, she'll be REALLY scared, at least she kind of expects it now, and will realise its the treatment. Would it be right for me to say to the patient, oh no this won't hurt at all, when i know it will???   you lose peoples trust doing that!

I tell alcoholics or drug addicts, that are trying to give up, it will be the hardest thing they'll do!! and it'll be painful, and they'll keep coming up against stroppy, nuses and doctors and other people that won't want to be bothered with them!!! but i then tell them to ignore it all and go for it still, because these are the obstacles in their way!! i think if i can see the obstacles it would be wrong of me not to warn them of them!! at least they might think, when the nurse is treating them like 2nd class, oh, that guy on the ambulance told me this might happen, and said ignore them!! 

Now am I wrong??

It's a double edge sword!  On one hand, knowing that something will hurt or that you will feel horrible soon makes one very scared...the anticipation of it.  But on the other hand if the medic, nurse or dr is straight up and honest and you will know what to expect help prepare you.  When I was in labor with Erin, I had no drugs (not my choice) and the nurse was very honest with me.  And she helped me prepare for what was going to come AND stayed with me and got me thru it. 

I think it also depends on delivery of the news!! There are some hospital workers who could not give a crap and just want to get thru the shift but there  are some who really are for the patients. 

Jason..I really admire you.  It's very apparent that you care very much.

Understood Jason, and I agree, to a point. You are right, lying is not the answer. I am referring more to the idea of treating the entire person rather than just the illness. 

My friend knows that she may get very sick during the treatment. This was explained to before she began treatment. The fact that she is not sick yet gives her hope that she can beat this illness, even if she does get sick later.

I am not ignorant. If a doctor tells me I have cancer, I know very well that it may lead to death. However, if my doctor says you have cancer, it's at stage such and such and treats me like it's hopeless, then subconsciously, my mind is going to prepare for my death and my body will respond to that subconscious command and start shutting down. However, if my doctor says, "You have cancer, it's in stage such and such but I see miraculous recoveries every day and I believe you can be one of them, even though it will be tough going, and there are no guarantees. Are you up for it?" Then my subconscious mind says, yes, my doctor believes in me, I can do this! Even if I can't, that's not the point. The point is that the subconscious mind has great power to affect how our bodies responds to treatment.

I know that what you do is very hard Jason, and that you see the worse life has to offer everyday. I admire you tremendously for what you are able to do.  This is not a personal attack on individual medical personnel who have to deal with extreme circumstances everyday. Rather, it's an attack on the medical establishment and the way they have dissected the human mind from the body, treating human beings like nothing more than meat sacks with separate compartments that are independent of each other. We are not that. What we think, and how we feel about what we think, greatly affects our physical well being.

Oh goodness!  I've really gone off on a tangent haven't I?   Sorry!

I agree, state of mind plays a big role in recovery, but... with treatment for cancer, its the treatment that makes you ill, rarther than the condition, thats what your friend has to get through, so to be told that it will make you feel really bad, would help me get through it, knowing its not the condition thats making me feel that way!

Medical people go about things all different ways, some maybe right, some wrong, but the thing is, its not an exact science!! really, we all differ so much, whats the right thing to say for one, is wrong for another. Its a very difficult subject, and i've been there quite a few times, i usually have a good reaction to talking to people about things. But sometimes, you just gotta let the doctors nurses do the medical stuff, which now is just getting so deep and complex, and rely on friends and family for the emotional support. Maybe this isn't right, but its a fact.

I respect you as a person as well as your position Jason, and I regret it if this felt like a personal attack. Please forgive me. I guess I am just taking all of this very personally because I am watching someone I love go though it. 

No No, Diana, i don't think your attacking me!!  i'm just trying to explain why some medical people come accross as they do, i've just seen it probably from a different angle than you are at the moment, so thought i'd try to show you. I mean some are horrible, but some just 'seem' horrible.

I don't sound angry on here do i!???  i'm not!!

No, you don't sound angry Jason. I am just projecting my own emotions I think! LOL!  And I really do appreciate and respect what you do for a living. I can't even imagine what you have to deal with. You made your point very eloquently, and I think I feel a little embarrassed for "going off" like that! LOL!

One of the things I love about this forum is that we can talk about the most sensitive of subjects and NOT get all bent out of shape. It makes for great bonding between people with diverse but equally interesting minds.