Mending Fences

I have received a surprising number of emails from various POE members saying that they are seriously thinking of leaving the forum. My heart is saddened to think of any one of our extended family here feeling that the only answer is for them to leave us.

It is true that some of us have monopolized and/or hijacked threads from time to time (I know I am guilty). Through their emails however, several have made it known that they feel hurt and insulted, because they feel they have basically been told to "get a life". While those who have limited time to visit with us in the forum, find this "hijacking" annoying because they feel like they have to sift through a lot of supurfulus postings to get to the point of the thread in the first place. This cuts into what little time they do have to engage in meaningful conversation.

In my humble opinion, it bears noting that there are some members here for whom POE is their major source of support. Because of the particular circumstances of their lives, POE has become their sounding board and the only friends to whom they can speak freely. Is it any wonder that they get carried away with their banter? They are hungry for just such communion.

On the other hand, perhaps those of us who tend to get carried away (and that is especially easy to do when only you and one other person are online), once we realize that we are headed in that direction, can say to our sparring partner, "Let's move this to the "Conversation" thread".

In the end there are no perfect solutions. We are a family and all families are dysfunctional, it's just a matter of degree! In the meantime, a little respect and tolerance from both sides will not be amiss.

There is great love here for all, and all should feel welcome.

Yes, there's a noticeable lack of people here lately, but then this is POE and not Facebook. I'm as guilty as anyone when it comes to nonsense, I turn all Cornish suddenly and have little or no control over it.

Perhaps there are some over sensitive souls here, for goodness sake this is supposed to be pleasurable.....and as far as truly personal feelings and thoughts are concerned, we can ALL contact each other in many different ways.

My general feeling is that far too much has been made of all this nonsense, much too much has been taken personally to the extent where personal unpleasantness has reared its' ugly head.

It should never have got to this situation, but it has......so why don't we all forget our differences and start again. I've deliberately kept out of all this, mainly because it doesn't involve me directly, but when it comes to banging heads together, metaphorically, I'm glad to oblige.

Although the subject has been raised and a Chatroom has been opened, it still seems like there is hostility abounding. As a neutral in all this, could I ask you all to get talking with each other again, life is far too short for friends to fall out over trifles.

Andy.

Well said Andy! I too stayed out of the frey but as you say, there has been a noticeable lack of friends here recently.

(BTW, I love it when you go all Cornish! LOL!)

Diana, Andy, Denzil and all! Your continued support, as with all POE members is very much appreciated. There has been a difference of opinion but with the forum being open to all and free therefore to express your views I guess it goes without saying that not all will agree all of the time. For you to have your say, without it being massively edited is surely something to protect isn't it? I know my quick paragraph doesn't address the past issue's but let's hope it's all now in the past and that those who might be missing will feel able to get back into their stride here in the forum soon.

Some members being 'absent' could just be down to the time of year. For me, well I approve your pictures and watch the posts also without responding simply because I don't have the time at the moment. That said you should know I am also trying to re-decorate the house before Christmas, and frankly it's a nightmare because I am not as agile as I once was!

Anyway, I think it was nice of you to start the thread Diana, with your healing hands now working at maximum speed to get us all together again. C'mon POE friends lets be 'avin ya!

Hi. I have been a bit busy, but I hate arguments too, so I didnt rush to get things done and get back on here like I always do. If I want an argument I will sit down for a chat with the wife. He he he. 

I am glad that things seem to be getting back to normal. I dont use Facebook very often as I find the site boring, and unfortunately, this site suddenly started to get boring. But as I said, I am glad that it seems to have calmed down and returning to the site that we know and love.

Anyway mates, I am going away to my Sister in Laws for the weekend, so will still be busy for the week. So if you dont see too much of me, dont chear, its just that I havnt that much time this week.

Diana, it's very good of you to try and mend fences. Lyn's thread was closed, and she was unable to make any further comments. I did not want to as I felt under attack. No, I was under attack. The whole business has been left unresolved. I am personally weary with it all.

There are a few on  this side of the fence who feel hurt and insulted, too. Jason Twist told anyone who wanted to listen that I was sarcastic, nasty, in need of a purpose in my life, and had shown my true colours.  All this because I left a post in the thread he was ripping to pieces. Sue H has verified that my deleted post was not offensive. So any insults came from him and not me.

I certainly don't need a metaphorical banging of heads together. The forum rules were pasted up for all to see and it was clear that they have been flouted and disregarded for months on end. Why weren't they implemented?  What do visitors to this site make of it all?  What do they make of pages and pages of nonsense and LOLs?

If anyone doubts that some are just intent on causing disharmony on this site, I would refer you to:

The last post on page 5 Chat Room. Third post page 7 Chat room and last but not least, 7th post page 13 Balm of Gilead.

I know others who have said they feel as we do, but won't actually come out and say so. Somebody has to. I hope the forum gets back to normal eventually. And I hope we have no more of serious threads being ruined by the thoughtlessness of others.

OK then. Yes, I must admit that I'm fed up to the back teeth with these personal attacks, I'm with you 100% on that Sue, I personally think that cheap jibes and downright insults shouldn't ever be inflicted on anyone, let alone friends on here. Frankly I'm disgusted that you have been insulted with no apology forthcoming Sue, that would at least be a start.

I can only apologise for not making that clear with my first statement. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire, but there we are, I no doubt have.

I just wish common decency would prevail.

Like you Andy, I have no desire to add fuel to the fire. To the contrary. This pettiness is getting on all of our nerves.  Perhaps it was a mistake to start this thread. If one of the moderators wishes to close it, I will not be offended.