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Always Honest or Okay to Hold Back?

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Diana Sinclair
Diana Sinclair
Posts: 10119
Joined: 3rd Apr 2008
Location: USA
quotePosted at 15:58 on 1st April 2009

Do you think couples should always be open and honest with each other, or are there things that it is okay to hold back? Why or why not?

 

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Ray Stear
Ray Stear
Posts: 1930
Joined: 25th Apr 2008
Location: UK
quotePosted at 16:16 on 1st April 2009

It is better to be completely honest with each other I think, although sometimes people hold back because they don't want to hurt the other persons'  feelings; or to avoid causing worry or concern to the other.

Unfortunately, this has the opposite effect and can cause more worry, concern, and anguish.

My conclusion is therefore; that I can understand both points of view, but feel happier with complete honesty. does that all make sense? I would be interested to hear what other people have to say on this?

 

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Diana Sinclair
Diana Sinclair
Posts: 10119
Joined: 3rd Apr 2008
Location: USA
quotePosted at 17:31 on 1st April 2009

It's a hard one to answer. Complete honesty between two people with regards to anything that affects their relationship together, yes. But there are times when I think NOT telling something is better. For example, if I am in a relationship with a man and his brother makes a pass at me, I will probably not say anything to my guy about it. Of course, his brother might have trouble coming up with a reason why he's walking funny all of a sudden, but I see no reason to create a riff between brothers. I can handle myself in that situation and the likely hood is that once I have finished with him, the brother will never do it again!

I think it depends on what kinds of things we are talking about here.

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Bob T
Bob T
Posts: 934
Joined: 8th Jan 2009
Location: USA
quotePosted at 17:52 on 1st April 2009
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
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Stephanie Jackson
Stephanie Jackson
Posts: 3911
Joined: 13th Apr 2008
Location: UK
quotePosted at 18:00 on 1st April 2009
I think like you Diana - I try to be honest as much as I can but sometimes it is best to not say something - you are not lying you are just remaining silent!
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Rafal Bartkowiak
Rafal Bartkowiak
Posts: 210
Joined: 21st Mar 2009
Location: UK
quotePosted at 18:04 on 1st April 2009
On 1st April 2009 17:52, Bob T wrote:
Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

I am thinking the same.
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Ray Stear
Ray Stear
Posts: 1930
Joined: 25th Apr 2008
Location: UK
quotePosted at 18:05 on 1st April 2009
Hi Steph, and how about if you are asked specifically and you can't stay silent?
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Stephanie Jackson
Stephanie Jackson
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Joined: 13th Apr 2008
Location: UK
quotePosted at 18:11 on 1st April 2009

I would word whatever it was in a good way! I think Diana's example is a good one - if anyone came on to me I would deal with it myself and tell them to get lost and no way etc etc. If I told Terry I would end up with a husband in prison for GBH!

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Richard Sellers
Richard Sellers
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Joined: 16th Jul 2008
Location: USA
quotePosted at 18:13 on 1st April 2009

LOL Stephanie! and elloooooo

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Stephanie Jackson
Stephanie Jackson
Posts: 3911
Joined: 13th Apr 2008
Location: UK
quotePosted at 18:14 on 1st April 2009
Hello Rick!
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