Local dialects

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JeCwr9MmiIc

Here's the posh translation for those of you who can't understand the Somerset accent, although the Queen's English doesn't rhyme

Where be that blackbird to? I know where he be (where is that blackbird? I know where he is)

'e be up yon wurzel tree and I be after 'e (He is up yon wurzel tree and I am after him)

Now I sees 'e and 'e sees I, buggered if I don't get 'un (Now I see him and he sees me, buggered if I don't get him)

With a gurt (great) big stick I'll knock 'un (him) down Blackbird I'll have 'e (you)

La la la la la la la la la la la la 'ow's yer father - alright (How is your father - alright?)

All me life I'm on the farm working for me keep

Tendin' pigs and chickens and they cows and sheep

But everywhere I'm working there's one 'oo (who) always mocks me

'e's hiding somewhere up thik (that) tree blackbird I'll have 'e

Chorus

Underneath the open sky in spring we love to dine

I likes to hear the flapping of the missus' washing line

I listens to a tuneful song a blackbird or a tit

But on me vest and underpants her (he) scored a direct hit

Chorus

No longer can I sleep at night - get peace of any kind

Thik (that) bird will be the death of I -  'e's praying on me mind

If I chase him long enough I'll catch 'im by and by

And celebrate me victory with a gurt (great) big blackbird pie

Chorus

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JeCwr9MmiIc

Here's the posh translation for those of you who can't understand the Somerset accent, although the Queen's English doesn't rhyme

Where be that blackbird to? I know where he be (where is that blackbird? I know where he is)

'e be up yon wurzel tree and I be after 'e (He is up yon wurzel tree and I am after him)

Now I sees 'e and 'e sees I, buggered if I don't get 'un (Now I see him and he sees me, buggered if I don't get him)

With a gurt (great) big stick I'll knock 'un (him) down Blackbird I'll have 'e (you)

La la la la la la la la la la la la 'ow's yer father - alright (How is your father - alright?)

All me life I'm on the farm working for me keep

Tendin' pigs and chickens and they cows and sheep

But everywhere I'm working there's one 'oo (who) always mocks me

'e's hiding somewhere up thik (that) tree blackbird I'll have 'e

Chorus

Underneath the open sky in spring we love to dine

I likes to hear the flapping of the missus' washing line

I listens to a tuneful song a blackbird or a tit

But on me vest and underpants her (he) scored a direct hit

Chorus

No longer can I sleep at night - get peace of any kind

Thik (that) bird will be the death of I -  'e's praying on me mind

If I chase him long enough I'll catch 'im by and by

And celebrate me victory with a gurt (great) big blackbird pie

Chorus

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KA8p3wR5quI&feature=related

Here's a Cornish accent

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bi1Mzo2cIvY&feature=related

This ones a hoot, and you get a better feel for the accent. Plus you get some 'Essex boy' accent.

Jethro has a mate he's always telling jokes about, also called Denzil - Denzil Penberthy.  There are lots of other clips on youtube but his language is a bit ripe on some! 

I thought this could fit in here !

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'