Jokes (Keep it clean, folks!)

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.

Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.

Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180.

Are there any questions?" 

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"

Hahaha, hehehe, Cathy, lol

It is said that to gain inner peace you should not leave thing half finished.  So in an attempt to achieve this ideal situation I looked around the house to see if there was another I'd started but not finished.  Needless to say there were quite a number.

So I finished off the bottle of white wine and the red wine too, the remins o the sherry mixt with the las o te jin.  Te car ton eyezcrim 'n prosec tablits, de apletrart' n chox offffff bocolates.

I fil wunerflll!

P.S Let me know if you need a translation, lol

James, I didn't think you were going to tell anyone!! You're ironing will be done this afternoon! hmmfffff!

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. 

When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled up and died.

"Now," he said, "What do you learn from this?"

An eager student gave his answer.

"Well the answer is obvious," he said, "If you drink alcohol you'll never have worms!"