Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

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Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:00 on 15th July 2008 On 14th July 2008 23:40, MariaGrazia wrote: Thanks for the info about her Christmas cd, Diana. Yes, "Nights in the Alhambra" was on sale at the concert, along with USB pens with her image and with pre-loaded mp3 on them (!) lol. I need to go and teach a bit of grammar to one of our constables here; particularly the meaning of possessive adjectives like 'my' ;-). Auntie Mira, Help!! It's all going pear shaped now! do you know of any lovely maidens in bungalows who need serenading? Or maybe I should take up a new hobby. A life of contemplating my navel? Yours in anguish, Ray. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:03 on 15th July 2008 On 15th July 2008 07:25, Ray Stear wrote: Dear auntie Bumcheeks, It has been 24 hours since I ordered your product, the special potion remember? Nothing has arrived here yet. I would appreciate it very much if you could track this order and give me an estimated date and time of delivery. I am getting impatient now. It will soon be 'Hoedown' night! Thank you. Ray In view of recent developments, please cancel the potion. If that is not possible to cancel at this late stage, I'll give it to the spaniel. Ray. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
L Posts: 5656 Joined: 10th Jun 2004 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:51 on 15th July 2008 Not sure about me being a lovely maiden Ray, but I live in a bungalow, come and serenade me if you want lol My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:57 on 15th July 2008 Thanks Lyn....As soon as I sort out my Satnav! lol. Have you got double glazing? Ray. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
L Posts: 5656 Joined: 10th Jun 2004 Location: UK	quotePosted at 08:58 on 15th July 2008 yes but my windows always open LOL My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 09:24 on 15th July 2008 LOL@LYN, I would probably chicken out just as I reached the bungalow. lol. All teeth and no bark! that's me! lol My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 09:26 on 15th July 2008 Or is it all bark and no teeth? I'm not sure now. Ray. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Miya Buttreaks Posts: 348 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 14:14 on 15th July 2008 Rise n shine y'all, Auntie Miya is here! We had a rite mess yester day an that be why I wasn't round to talk ta ya much. Cletus Beaver was a cookin chitlins ystrerday an the blame fool fergot ta loose tha valve on tha preasure cooker an the dang thang blowed up. It stink like somthin' what dyed in its own s* an done run us outta tha house. Even tha pig what sleeps under tha bed wont stay in thar. I still be cleanin' up tha mess today an not sur that I can be on this here computur much again but I's try. Ray, yu shar does blows hot an cold on yer lady friend. first ya wants tha potion an then ya don't. I give ya tha secret recipy what so ya can a make it ya self infin ya wants ta. Auntie Miya's Love Potion 1 pinch of snuff 2 teaspoons of black bile 3 pinches hamhock 3 pinches of wolfs bane 3 fresh poison ivy leaves 6 fresh rose petals 6 drops pig slop 3 cups pure moonshine Sugah Honey To make another person falls in luv with ya, brew this tea on a Friday during a waxin' moon win tha Place all ingredients in an uh copper tea kettle. Boil three cups of pure moonshine and add to the kettle. Sweeten with sugah and honey, ifin ya want. Before drinkin', say this rhyme: BY LIGHT OF MOON WAXING I BREW THIS TEA TO MAKE [tha one ya sweet on] DESIRE ME. Drink some tea and says: GODDESS OF LOVE HEAR NOW MY PLEA LET [tha one ya seet on] DESIRE ME!** SO MOTE IT BE SO MOTE IT BE On tha next Friday, brew another pot of tha luv potion tea an give some to the person ya sweet on. He or she will soon begin to fall in luv with ya. Warnin': Yur sweethart will fall in luv with tha first person or animal or thang she/he sees so makin' shur ya keep em locked up till they is ready so that they sees only yu. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Miya Buttreaks Posts: 348 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 14:20 on 15th July 2008 Oh yea, I's ferget to tells ya, donna be a singin' to ya sweethart when ya is drinkin' tha potion, it makes ya vocals go all wonky. I's give some to Jethro last spring so he coulda go a cortin' a young thang an he started makin' noise what sounded like old man Fartters bull when theys put tha leaden' ring in its nose. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 15:08 on 15th July 2008 Hi Auntie: We have a very similar recipe for out west here, It's called Love Potion No. 9999. The recipe is virtually the same except we substitute eye of gila monster for wolf bane and catclaw acacia for poison ivy. But for the life of me, I can't remember the rhyme?!? My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions