Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

Yes, I gathered you meant Auntie. I forgot Catcuses don't grow in hillbilly land.

I do need to visit the USA, to sort out what grows where. I don't suppose for example you have many 'hoedowns' out in the Arizona desert.....or do you? 

Rise n shine y'all, Auntie Miya is here! We had a rite mess yester day an that be why I wasn't round to talk ta ya much. Cletus Beaver was a cookin chitlins ystrerday an the blame fool fergot ta loose tha valve on tha preasure cooker an the dang thang blowed up. It stink like somthin' what dyed in its own s*** an done run us outta tha house. Even tha pig what sleeps under tha bed wont stay in thar. I still be cleanin' up tha mess today an not sur that I can be on this here computur much again but I's try.

Ray, yu shar does blows hot an cold on yer lady friend. first ya wants tha potion an then ya don't. I give ya tha secret recipy what so ya can a make it ya self infin ya wants ta.

Auntie Miya's Love Potion

1 pinch of snuff
2 teaspoons of black bile
3 pinches hamhock
3 pinches of wolfs bane
3 fresh poison ivy leaves
6 fresh rose petals
6 drops pig slop
3 cups pure moonshine
Sugah
Honey

To make another person falls in luv with ya, brew this tea on a Friday during a waxin' moon win tha
Place all ingredients in an uh copper tea kettle. Boil three cups of pure moonshine and add to the kettle. Sweeten with sugah and honey, ifin ya want.

Before drinkin', say this rhyme:

BY LIGHT OF MOON WAXING
I BREW THIS TEA
TO MAKE [tha one ya sweet on] DESIRE ME.


Drink some tea and says:
GODDESS OF LOVE
HEAR NOW MY PLEA
LET [tha one ya seet on] DESIRE ME!
SO MOTE IT BE
SO MOTE IT BE

On tha next Friday, brew another pot of tha luv potion tea an give some to the person ya sweet on. He or she will soon begin to fall in luv with ya.

Warnin': Yur sweethart will fall in luv with tha first person or animal or thang she/he sees so makin' shur ya keep em locked up till they is ready so that they sees only yu.