Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn

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	Forums > User Introductions > Aunt Miya's Advice Column for the Lovelorn
Miya Buttreaks Posts: 348 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 14:35 on 16th July 2008 Ray: Bobo says donna be a contemplatin’ your watsit in public, ‘cause it ain’t seemly. An ‘member, Ifin ya goin’ off women folk it ain’t fare to go into ya neighbors fields. Tha Good Book says it be against God ta covet ya neighbor’s a**. (I shur as heck a wish Diana would stop a messen’ with my words.) Ron: It be nice to meet ya young fella. My Diana says you is alright an all. She says yous showed her a good time win she was a in your neck of tha woods. As to yur water works problems, seems like ya have whats we here is Possum Holler calls “rusty pipes”. Tha cure for rusty pipes is easy but t’ain’t fun. Ya have ta git a long skinny hose like an have yur mama or yur best friend, (but Bobo says not yur wife ‘cause shes might enjoy it too much), an stick it up yur watsit like one of them thar roto-rooter thangs. Win thay is done an pulls it out, yu water works shoulda be workin’ ok agin but it might be a reddish color for a while. Bobo says ya wanna drink some strong moonshine or eat some mushrooms afore ya let em do yur watsit. Peter: Is a hooligan liken to a varmit? My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Peter Evans Posts: 3863 Joined: 20th Aug 2006 Location: UK	quotePosted at 16:46 on 16th July 2008 Aunt Miya, its a lot worse than a varmint. Fighting, causing trouble and killing everyones fun too. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ron Brind Posts: 19041 Joined: 26th Oct 2003 Location: England	quotePosted at 21:07 on 16th July 2008 Aunt Miya, we followed your instructions to the letter, first time I've seen Anna with a smile on her face for over 40 years, but I could also see the grimace on my own face in the reflection of the bedroom mirror as I considered again your advice! At first all appeared to be well, but it wasn't long before I was covered in enough blood to drown an elephant in an egg cup, and things got worse because before my very eye's it was growing, call me Pinocchio or what until it reached the stage where I was unable to walk without considerable difficulty! I am now in the rather embarrassing situation where I am forced to push a wheelbarrow before me to take the weight! Are you sure you are qualified to answer our questions Aunt Miya? I get the feeling that I could be lovelorn for quite a while yet, but if you have a solution that would enable me to be rid of the wheelbarrow, I'd be really grateful because it's one soab to tip! My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Miya Buttreaks Posts: 348 Joined: 9th Jul 2008 Location: USA	quotePosted at 13:12 on 17th July 2008 Ron, I sure I don't knows what yu talkin' 'bout. Yu put that thar hose up the right watsit? My Bobo don't want me ta do this here advice column no more 'cause he says yu a nasty old geeser what don't know hows to talk to a lady. I tell em yu gist been without too long an he oughta be more understandin' like. He says yu head is whats too big not yur watsit. He think yu be a wishful thinkin' an all. I been advisin' folks for purt near half a century, but I didn't say it was good advice. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 05:52 on 20th July 2008 Auntie, I'm still lovelorn. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 14:12 on 20th July 2008 On 16th July 2008 13:34, Peter Evans wrote: Ray's goung to become a football hooligan? Oh no, not another one. Its bad enough with that hooligan Ron on here. Dear Aunt Miya, how can wee stop Ray from becoming a football hooligan? Hi Peter, I have been to enough football matches and seen enough 'aggro' to last me a lifetime. So a football hooligan I shall not be, don't worry. I won't come and scratch your car with a coin or a screwdriver! lol My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 14:13 on 20th July 2008 On 20th July 2008 05:52, Ruth Gregory wrote: Auntie, I'm still lovelorn. There, there, Ruthie, Auntie is obviously busy, but I'm sure some good advice will be aheading your way purty darn soon. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Peter Evans Posts: 3863 Joined: 20th Aug 2006 Location: UK	quotePosted at 14:33 on 20th July 2008 Never mind Ruth, if that Denzil wont pay you enough attention, I am always here. Just whistle. He he he. Ray, I too see enough of those football hoolgans. When I worked on the London Underground I used to dread football matches on my line. I had to take too many damaged trains out of service and face the wrath of the general public for doing so. Quite a few of my friends were carried of to hospital with quite bad injuries as well. One even had his ear cut off and another ost a finger. Football, the sport of gents, the noble game. I dont think so. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ruth Gregory Posts: 8072 Joined: 25th Jul 2007 Location: USA	quotePosted at 18:22 on 20th July 2008 Thanks guys for trying to cheer me up. I may be whistling, Peter. I thought I might be over Denzil, but then last night (this morning to y'all) he showed up again before he went out to the top field, and then I felt like the Patsy Cline song all over again. You know which one, don't you, Peter? My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions
Ray Stear Posts: 1930 Joined: 25th Apr 2008 Location: UK	quotePosted at 19:14 on 20th July 2008 'I fall to pieces, each time I hear your name' Yes, great song. I am sure he has a special place locked in his heart for you too! Carry on whistling Ruth. My favourite: Pictures \| Towns \| Attractions